See How Nice I Was!?!?

Joe's post about small talk which has gotten quite a few comments. I've read some of the comments and because this morning I'm in an antisocial mood here is my Top Ten list of things to remember for work.

1) Don't act like you know me. A name is not a person.
2) I (probably) don't remember your name. No insult really, I don't remember the name of most people that I talk to once a month.
3) If you need my help on something, just tell me what it is. I don't need a background story about how something funny happened that made you realize you had messed it up.
4) See that look I just gave you? That isn't my, 'Oh let us chat it up, old friend' look.
5) When I go to get more coffee, it isn't a chance for you to waste more of my (and your) time. Fill your cup, we'll exchange nods and then get on with our day.
6) We have an email if you need something. Don't come over into my cube and bother me. Unless you have spontaneously combusted, then it might be okay.
7) Regarding that look in number 4, I probably didn't mean to melt your face with it. Sorry about that.
8) My job is technical and detailed. It requires actual thought and time. Trying to rush me will get your task pushed to the back of the line. Whoops.
9) I like to help people. I don't like to help people that stand over my shoulder when I'm working. I also don't like to help people that never learned to say thanks.
10) If I don't spend 20 minutes of my day chatting with you, it probably means that I hate you. Okay, not really but if that will make you leave me alone I'm all for it.

There is my attempt at humor for the day.

I'm not comfortable in social situations. It isn't other peoples' fault but I do tend to take it out on them. I often find myself walking around scowling just because I've found that I'm less likely to get 'chatted up' if I do that. I've tried to stop doing it but so far catch myself after the fact.

Like many people, I don't have these same problems when I'm on The Information Super Highway. I've made several friends over the web that I chat with on message boards or in games. While I would consider them friends, I'm not sure if we had met in person that it would have been the same.

I like to think that I'm a friendly person. Which is odd considering how I feel about social interaction. That initial 'chatting up' period is the part I really hate. What if after that first time I'm friendly and then everyday you come over and try to talk to me? Chances are you'll want to talk about stuff that makes me want to pull my hair out. Or you will be completely boring. I'm not willing to take that risk.

One final note to explain the title of this post. A few months ago we were going through the drive-thru and after we paid we could hear the trainer say those exact words to a trainee. It came out like this, "See how NICE I WAS?!!!?". I wish we had a recording of it.